((So, obviously, this Fem!Russia is NOT in Citta anymore. Yay for her!!))
((As you wish!))
Anastasia didn’t feel like getting out of bed, even for bread or vodka. She felt homesick for that cold but familiar place she represented.
She covered herself with another blanket that she had thrown off in her sleep, and put her face in the pillow. “Нет. Even if big brother comes, I refuse to leave,” she mumbled to herself.
She looked at the little nesting doll by her bed that she had bought one day in Sector four. Another reminded of the home she loved and resented in unison.
Resentment came easily. Her people were struggling to get back on their feet after the fall of the Soviet Union, cities were overcrowding, and few people were crazy enough to live in Siberia. And each prime minister had their own agendas instead of that of the people’s. Winter made it rather impossible to trade with any northern people via water.
But, it was the land she had watched over for centuries. She prided herself in having about half of the timezones of the world, because her staked claims on land were that large. The people were robust and proud. And the animals that survived continued to survive, just like the people.
Back at her home, because it was so big, she cleaned it every other day to keep it from being dirty in the event someone else came to visit her and stay the while. Then she ate her breakfast, and then went out and gardened with that shovel she always carried. One section was dedicated to sunflowers, and others were dedicated to plants that could survive the winter. She always cut one sunflower’s stalk if there were any and put it in a vase in her foyer to greet guests with the delightful flower.
Then she tended to the matters of the country, and to knowing her citizens better. Depersonalization was common during her darkest years, but that individualism Emily’s country had seemed to keep her people happy, so Anastasia treated her citizens like friends.
Then it was off to eat supper, take a short bath, and if nothing troublesome was happening, she’d go to sleep.
"I want people here to see my home," Anastasia muttered to herself before falling asleep again.
"You better not take this the wrong way." Emily mutters as she leans up to kiss you on the cheek. "Have a good day and stuff."
"Da…?" Anastasia tilted her head to the side. "That is how we greet people in East Europe, but hello to you, too."
While Anastasia wouldn’t mind having actual friends, she feels that she’s owed some compensation for having been tormented as she grew up, and for the insanity she came to develop during her days as the USSR. (Personally, she feels the mental torture she put Maria through paled in comparison to what she went through her whole life, but that’s her own problem). She’s willing to manipulate her own older brother to feel safe and secure, and if her younger brother loses all respect for her, she will mind, but will act stoic and just turn to getting the Fem!Baltics and maybe even Fem!Poland to support her. Insanity and cruelty are the masks that have become her, and are the only things that keep her from delving deep into despair.
Drabble: Her biggest mistake.
((Sorry for the late response, but I didn’t have my computer the other day, and I didn’t have enough time to work on the idea.))
Anastasia tossed and turned in her sleep, her nightmares tormenting her. She kept her nightmares a secret from everyone, especially Nikolai. They didn’t need to know about what she could have prevented, and the trigger for her mental decline.
In her nightmare, it was the summer of 1918, She had withdrawn from the Great War because of the turmoil going on in her homeland. The Entente was hardly pleased, but thankfully, America had stepped in after events caused the American girl to break her policy of isolationism and fight. Let her do her own thing, and Russia would attend to the problems in her own land.
How miserable it was for the common people of Russia. Still, the country herself loved the autocrats, even if Nicholas was a weak ruler compared to Alexandra, and it seemed that Rasputin was controlling Alexandra. The four daughters and Alexi were so precious that it was hard for the Russian girl not to love them. She felt saddened that they were stripped of their power, but there was little she could do. She figured it was best for them to stay hidden so no rebels would kill them.
She kept close to Lenin when she wasn’t allowed to see the Romanov family, to keep an eye on the rest of the country. He was the leader of the Bolsheviks, and if he wanted the family dead, he could order it and they’d be executed. After months of tailing Lenin, Russia felt she could relax a little, and let her guard down.
Lenin’s bodyguard carried a note to the Bolshevik stronghold the Romanovs were being detained in, and Russia followed it, hoping it was a telegram to release them.
She was asked to keep back, and she had assumed it was because they didn’t want her to hug Alexi tightly so that he would get hurt. She sat on a box on the first floor, waiting for the family to come up. They all could live in her big house, and she could take care of them. They could be considered “exiled” while Russia was caring for them until they died and lived normal lives. Anything for her her old rulers.
And then, she heard a gunshot from below. She shook her head, thinking it to be a delusion from the Great War. When she heard more gunshots, and the screams of the Romanov women, Russia panicked and ran to the door that led to the basement. She continued to try to get the knob to unlock, and immediately thought of the shovel her brother had given her, which she had left outside. She ran to get it, and by the time she came back, the stronghold was silent.
“Нет... она не может быть…” She remarked, dropping to her knees. “Они мертвы…?”
The Bolshevik guards remained down in the basement for a while longer, then came up with bodies that were wrapped up. “Мы должны спрятать их в лесу,” she heard them say to one another. Lenin’s bodyguard took the note Russia had seen with him and burnt it into ash. As if the order had never existed.
She stumbled out of the stronghold with her shovel in hand, and ran back to her house. “Почему я не делаю что-то…” She repeated to herself over and over. It was days before it finally registered in her mind that the Romanovs had been executed, and only then did tears come. With this new regime in place, she would have to keep face around Lenin and whoever succeeded him, but no one could replace the feelings she had for her autocratic royal family.
“Я мог бы сделать что-то. Я мог бы сделать что-то. Я мог бы сделать что-то. Я что-то делать." Anastasia… she had such a great possible life ahead of her, and if Alexi had survived and gotten cured in America, he could have become a great leader. From that moment on, after she took the name Anastasia, her sanity began to slip further away from her…
She awoke in her bed from her nightmare. “… It was a dream again… That dream.” She closed her eyes, recalling years later how a girl had impersonated Anastasia, much to her own annoyance. How after she began recovering from her Soviet days, she had learned the order in which the family was murdered. How she had failed. “Why…? Я мог бы сделать что-то...”
((The first bit of Russian means “No… it cannot be…”. Then “They’re dead…?” Then “Bury them in the woods.” She repeats, “I could have done something” over and over, and is her last line, and she also says, “I will do something.” I personally feel that of any of the events that happened to her that she regrets, the execution of her autocracy was the one that affects her most, and set her into going crazy. There was a girl years later who claimed to be Anastasia, and many people claimed that she was, but she wasn’t. The mention of the woods is because a burial site was found, and most of the Romanov family was buried there, except for Alexi and Anastasia, who were probably buried elsewhere. Nicholas was shot first, then Alexi. The women took longer to kill because they had sewn the family jewels into their clothes. I’m sorry this is so long, but… I hope it answers your question.))
“Oh… Well, I met a woman with dark hair the other day. She looked really beautiful, but we didn’t get to talk much,” she recalled. She had been in sector 2 that day and was heading home from taking care of Tim. There also was the little witch, and she had heard of a harlequin arriving to the city recently. But that circus guy was what intrigued her.”I heard about that circus guy… Is he weird…?”
“He seemed normal well for what you’d expect from a circus dude.” Emily shrugged she had seen nothing wrong with him. He certainly was accommodating and cheerful. She tried to think of anyone else new she might of run into. Then she remembered Alice was supposed to be in the city. Well she hadn’t seen her since she ran into her that one time. She hoped she was still here it’d be nice to have her best friend around.
"As for other people of our world, I’ve only seen Spain and France around," she spoke up. "I never really talked with the back in our world, so I don’t exactly feel a little less lonely. Wouldn’t it be something if our Axis Trio came here, though?" With a small giggle, she thought about if those three were each other’s roommates. Now, she had heard England was around, but hadn’t exactly ran into her… She supposed that Splendid Isolation applied even in this city.
“It’s just a passing wish. It might happen… Or it might not…” She said wistfully, wondering if it would ever happen. It seemed everyone was maturing and getting married faster than she could blink. Not good for the girl who was the former Sleeping Bear of Europe.
“Let us change the subject…” She said, shaking her head. Now she was merely confusing herself with the talk of love. “Apart from the person who seems to run a literal circus, what other strange people have you met around here?”
Emily was grateful for the subject change. Talking about love always left her feeling weird. Like when she was giving advice to Nikolai she normally wasn’t like that. “Uhh met a Cirrus Master from like the forty’s or fifties, awhile back. I haven’t been out too much so I can’t really think of anyone new” She tilted her head to the side. “and you?’
"Oh… Well, I met a woman with dark hair the other day. She looked really beautiful, but we didn’t get to talk much," she recalled. She had been in sector 2 that day and was heading home from taking care of Tim. There also was the little witch, and she had heard of a harlequin arriving to the city recently. But that circus guy was what intrigued her."I heard about that circus guy… Is her weird…?"
“Well, you don’t have to be it if you don’t want to, but compared to the others, I’d pick you. Like I said, I barely trust the others… England has always hated me, France is more neutral to me, Spain I don’t know well, and well, you know of my malignant abuse towards Prussia.”
She giggled, adding as a thought, “But… Italy is sweet. Maybe he can be your date for the wedding, if I do get married…?”
“I never said I didn’t want to!” She pouted not noticing her gender had changed back. While all that might have been true it was still odd for Russia to say she trusted her after everything. It was probably best not to question it though.
“I think Italy would rather go to something like that with Germany…I’d rather not embarrass my self and show up alone.” Forget how everyone put so much importance on having a date to weddings. She’d rather go alone after all she’d be going home alone. “Having a date isn’t that big of a deal anyways.”
"It’s just a passing wish. It might happen… Or it might not…" She said wistfully, wondering if it would ever happen. It seemed everyone was maturing and getting married faster than she could blink. Not good for the girl who was the former Sleeping Bear of Europe.
"Let us change the subject…" She said, shaking her head. Now she was merely confusing herself with the talk of love. "Apart from the person who seems to run a literal circus, what other strange people have you met around here?"